She's a winner!

Gemma (to Lesley): You are so observant. That's why you win.

Heaven

Lesley: When I get to heaven I wonder if I can make myself look different every day.

Alyssa: Like change your hairstyle?

Divine Intervention

Melanie: He has never said a word to me. Not even the word "hi."

Lesley: I have a plan. Say to him, "HEY, WHY DID YOU PEE ON THIS TOWEL?!" Those kinds of plans are blessed.

Fashion Faux Pas

Lesley: I saw a man with skinny khakis on. It made me cry.

March Madness (GMU v. Nova)

Alyssa:  omg

that was the most intense game ever

i was standing in my office yelling 

Melanie:  of words with friends?

The Men in Our Lives, pt. 3

"His lack of originality is tolerable."

Nevermind.

Alyssa (to Melanie): Oh yeah you're invited to Andy's this saturday! Ohhh wait...